Return of the Mack

Samantha and I have been steadily working on Dave Ramsey’s Seven Baby Steps to reaching financial peace.  This means that for the past year or so we’ve been living below our means in order to save money and pay off debts.  That’s another story for another post.  The main thing to take away is that for the past couple of years, we have not had cable tv.  It just wasn’t a good use of our resources.

But.  Now, we’ve paid off the majority of our debts.  We’re on a budget, we’ve got a plan, we’re cruising.  We’ve reached the point where we can get cable tv.  So, we have.  Three hundred channels strong.  And it’s been amazing. HD. DVR. ESPN. NFL. MLB. And yes, HGTV.

If you aren’t too familiar with HGTV, then you are probably a single guy.  Otherwise, you are statistically highly likely to be in the know.  Property Virgins.  House Hunters.  House Hunters International.  Property Brothers.  That’s off the top of my head.

Obviously, HGTV doesn’t need my help.  They’re doing pretty well for themselves.  Still, everyone can always improve, so I want to make a programming suggestion: House Hunters Time Machine.

We all know that houses now like to have wood floors, granite counter tops, tile backsplashes, entertaining space, etc.  What we don’t know is this – what would people have gotten excited about in the past?  Hence, HHTM.

Let’s say it’s 1991.  Paula Abdul and Color Me Badd are tearing up the charts.  Home Improvement and Step by Step own the airwaves.  What’s up in home design?  I’d love to have some talking heads or old footage of realtors taking potential homebuyers into a new home and hearing something along the following lines:

Realtor: As you’ll see, the builder has gone with kelly green carpet to simulate an outdoors experience for you.
Man: Yes, I like that.  It’s like I’m Tim “The Toolman” Taylor! ARH HAR HAR.
Wife: (Silent.)
Realtor: And if you’ll follow me into the living room.
Wife: Oh, I LOVE these wall to wall mirrors.
Realtor: Yes, it easily doubles the size of the room.
Husband: Does it have a trash compactor?
Realtor: Of course, follow me into the kitchen.
Wife: Oh, these white appliance are amazing.  So bright!
Realtor: And the golden faucets really add a touch of class.
Husband: Yes, it’s like Beauty and the Beast in here!
Wife: It is, you’re my beast! Growl!
Husband: ARH HAR HAR.
Realtor: And you’ll notice the kitchen and living room are thankfully separated.  Who would want to have an open space!?!

(All laugh in unison and make fun of Saddam Hussein and Dan Quayle and then quote Terminator 2.)

I would watch that so much.  I would DVR it all day long.  Other shows we’ve enjoyed:

  • The NFL Network (all of it)
  • Tanked – Yankees in Vegas make custom fish tanks. Trust me.
  • Duck Dynasty – Si for president.
  • Batman The Animated Series – Holds up well.  Even if you are 28.
  • Storage Wars – Barry, if you read this, I will gladly be your personal assistant.
  • Starz – Best movies.
  • White Collar – This actually just won the Emmy for Best Show Imaginable.  The Neal/Peter relationship is transcendent, NYC looks great, and I like the phrase “humble assault on the commonplace”. Mozzie should get an Emmy as well.
  • White Collar – The other good thing is the soundtrack.  Very David Holmes (Ocean’s 11, etc.)

Now that we’ve got cable, what should we be taping?*

*Taping is something I learned about on House Hunters Time Machine.  It’s like DVRing only way sillier.




4 thoughts on “Return of the Mack

  1. Chris Hardwick has a new show on BBC America (The Nerdist). Top Gear, Mythbusters, and Pawn Stars remain high on my list.

    For scripted cable television I’ve enjoyed most of the USA shows. White Collar is definitely my favorite…didn’t think I would like Bryce after Chuck, but oh those eyes. 🙂 I also enjoy Fairly Legal (assuming it gets a new season), Covert Affairs and just started Suits.

    Dish just added a new set of movie channels called Epix. I don’t know if other providers have them but they have a good movie selection and especially documentaries. Waiting for Superman and With Great Power: The Stan Lee Story are the latest to grace my DVR.

    P.S. I love television.

  2. My recommendations are all things that I wish I could watch that I’ve started on but haven’t been able to keep up with: Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Dexter. As you can see, it can get pretty crazy, which is why we’ve intentionally limited ourselves to what we can access online.

  3. I would watch HHTM.

    I LOVE HBO and Epix documentaries, because I am nerdy. Also, anything that looks like it was filmed in the ’80s and quotes Dickens and lands on the BBC gets a vote, plus Mountain Men, Top Shot, American Pickers, Game of Thrones, Blue Bloods and anything involving Nick Lachey.

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