Source Material

It’s a commonly accepted fact that Hollywood has run out of ideas. It’s possible it never really had it’s own ideas since there have been book and play adaptations almost from the beginning. Book adaptations are still a very popular source for movie material, as well as the old standbys of stage plays and musicals.

Recently, there has been a bit more diversity in Hollywood’s source material. Comic book movies are their own sub-genre of movies that still have a lot of popularity. We’ve also branched out into adapting video games into movies. When I say “we” I mostly mean Uwe Boll and by movies I’m really referring to poorly made “films” that only serve the purpose of attempting to take a few more coins from the pockets of unwitting and naive gamers.

But it get’s crazier! With Pirates of the Caribbean, Hollywood made a decent attempt at adapting an amusement park ride. Of course they tried again with Haunted Mansion, but that didn’t exactly work out. Where to turn next? Let’s try…..board games! We have the cult classic Clue, but then movies drawn from this source became scarce for years until two recent entries. As I pointed out in my last post, Rock’em Sock’em Robots got a movie, and now so has the two-player navy strategy game Battleship. I am hereby officially lobbying for someone to make a movie from Crossfire. I am also predicting that if Candyland gets made, it will be directed by Tim Burton and it will be creepy.

This character will be played by Helena Bonham Carter

Side note: when looking for this picture I found this article.

Maybe Candyland is why so many American kids get fat? But I digress…

Hollywood’s newest destination for source material is quite perplexing. Not satisfied with the abundance of teen fantasy fiction filling bookshelves, Hollywood decided to go down to the bottom of the barrel and keep digging, until they found a new source…

That’s right, reference books. Nonfiction, non-linear, and completely lacking any kind of narrative depth, this new frontier of creative material is teeming with possibility. With the other half of the bookstore now opened up to movie producers, what can’t they make a movie about?? I mean, why not make an over-the-top hospital melodrama based on an influential anatomy book? Oh wait….

So is this going to be a thing now? Making movies and TV shows based on reference books? If so, then I’m throwing my hat in the ring! You’re about to get a Corner Booth exclusive, folks. Here is the pitch for the next big romantic comedy:

Kelley’s love life is skidding out of control. She’s just gotten out of a wreck of a relationship with her high school sweetheart and used car salesman boyfriend, Hank, who cheated on her with a younger woman. To make things worse, she gets into a nasty fender bender that nearly totals her car. Enter the local mechanic and charming southern sweet-talker Jim Higgins. He has to break the news to her that her car repair is going to cost a small fortune. However, seeing a beautiful lady in distress, Jim offers to pull some strings and call in some favors to help her out, but only on one condition- she agrees to let him take her out to dinner. Afraid of taking another risky turn and veering out of control, Kelley puts the offer on hold and instead decides to turn to her only other option and buy a cheap clunker until she can afford the repairs. Unfortunately, her best shot at getting a good bargain is appealing to the mercy of Hank, who’s already suffering from buyer’s remorse after seeking out a newer model. Desperately tired of taking the bus, Kelley must make a decision. Should she go back to the 5-point safety of Hank? Or should she risk an unpredictable joy ride with Jim? From the creators of “27 Ways to Lose a Guy at Your Best Friend’s Wedding on a First Date” comes a new romantic comedy about playing the market and finding the best deal. Julia Heigl Anniston-Lopez stars as Kelley in Blue Book Kelley. In theaters this fall.

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2 thoughts on “Source Material

  1. Finally a romantic comedy plot which makes sense to me. David we’re greenlighting all your ideas from this point forward. I’m giving you access to all of Corner Booth’s resources and darn the consequences!

  2. I would watch Blue Book Kelley. And I might cry at the end, particularly if she kills an alien or does something patriotic in the process.

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